Where did Lily come from?
by Severus my hero
Summary: Albus asks his brother James where his little sister came from and the children come to some very interesting conclusions.


**Disclaimer: I do not own "Harry Potter" or anything associated with it: the characters, places and events mentioned in the books and movies belong to JKR, Bloomsbury, Scholastic, and Warner Brothers etc.**

**A/n: Okay so this is my first try at a little humour. I really don't think I did that good of a job at it but nonetheless I tried. A lot of things inspired this but most of all, my muse is to be given credit for coming up with the idea. I would like to point out though: the spelling errors Mechachisism and Foexample are intentional.**

**Enjoy!**

**:)**

**

* * *

**

Where did Lily come from?

"James where did Lily come from?" five year old Albus asked his older brother while eyeing his annoying little sister who had just snatched his brand new keeper's gloves.

"Don't you know?" replied James feigning a bewildered expression. When Albus shook his little head, James smiled and took him by the hand forcing him to sit on the little blue wooden chair in his room.

"One day mum and dad were having breakfast. Dad found out that he needed more cereal so he opened a new box. You know the ones which say there is a surprise inside?" Albus nodded so James continued, "Well this box was one of those. As soon as Dad opened the box a wailing came from inside and inside the box he found Lily. She has been in this house ever since."

"That can't be true!" Albus said indignantly.

"Why not?"

"Because only cool stuff comes out of cereal boxes like the Merlin Dolls and little swords and stuff, and if Lily is cool my name is Cringy Markins!"

"Cringy Markins?" James asked looking absolutely dumbfounded. "Okay so where do _you_ think she came from then?" James asked feeling slightly insulted that his theory had been shunned so mercilessly.

"I think she came from inside a cabbage." James snorted.

"No really, I think she came from a cabbage, seeing the way she stinks sometimes I think she came from a rotten cabbage!" Albus said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, one day while mum was making her vegetable stew she opened up a cabbage and inside she found Lily!" James taunted as if it was the most ridiculous idea on the planet.

Albus huffed and turned away from his brother saying, "Well she definitely did not come from a cereal box."

At this point Bill's youngest son John entered the room and joined in the conversation, "Who didn't come from a cereal box?"

"Lily," Albus replied grinning at his cousin seeing that he was missing both his eyebrows. Perhaps he had been playing a rather reckless game of exploding snap.

"Of course Lily did not come from a cereal box. Who came up with that?" he scoffed and Albus pointed towards James.

"Figures," John rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows where babies come from." Albus and James stared at their six years old cousin with wide eyes. "They are bred on the different planets in the sky. When they are ready to land on the Earth a stork delivers them throwing the baby down the chimney where the mummy catches it. The mummy has to sit and wait all day long because the baby can come at any moment that is why she becomes all fat and lazy."

"Oh!" Both brothers nodded their heads as if they had just heard the most logical explanation.

"But what if the mummy can't catch the baby and it falls down?" Albus asked.

"Well then they say that the mummy had an accident. My mum had one. The baby disappeared in the ground." John said with a pained expression. "She was very sad after that but she is fine now."

"Sorry," James and Albus said simultaneously.

"It's okay,"

"What are you three doing?" A bossy voice came from the door.

"John was just telling us about an accident," James perked up.

"What accident?" Rose Weasley asked her cousins. As soon as John finished his explanation Rose shook her head as if she was hearing the stupidest thing ever.

"You know I actually asked my mum where Hugo came from a few days back. It is quite simple really and I am sure no planets other than the Earth are involved."

"So what did Auntie Hermione tell you?" Albus asked curiously although he was quite sure that the answer given to him by John was close to the truth.

"Well all animals have the same mechachisism," she began as if starting a well rehearsed lecture. "Foexample, the daddy bee pollinates the flower and then seeds fly out all over the place." Rose gesticulated vigorously with her arms and hands. "Then trees grow and on the trees teensy weensy bees grow and the mummy bee goes into labour and picks them all off." All three of her cousins looked extremely baffled by what she had said and perhaps that was the reason they thought that she might be right. Something so complex couldn't possibly be wrong especially if Auntie Hermione had been source of such information.

"But Rose, what does pollinate means?" Albus asked his best friend very confusedly.

"Mum told me but I didn't really understand the whole thing, it had something to do with..." she looked as if she was concentrating hard on trying to remember something. "Mummy took a name... I can't remember it now... I think they are called stings too... anyhow the... sting..." Rose shrugged her shoulders, "goes into the flower and it is pollinated and then the seeds fly out all over the place and then trees grow and on the trees teensy weensy bees grow and the mummy bee goes into labour and picks them all off. It is the same for cats and dogs and frogs and humans but for some there are eggs that grow and for others teensy weensy babies grow."

Rose nodded reinstating everything that she had heard from her mother, given that she had not paid so much attention as to remember all the facts but still it was close, no?

"That makes a lot of sense. So we all came from trees?" James said blinking his eyes while processing all the strange information he had just received.

"Yup," Rose said.

"But I never saw babies hanging from the trees," John asked daring to look sceptical although he too knew that if Auntie Hermione had told Rose this it had to be true.

"Only the mummies can see them otherwise someone else might pick them off," Rose said concentrating hard to remember if her mother had said something about this.

"Oh I wish Johnny here was right, 'cause that way it could be true that Lily was dropped in the wrong house by the stork," Albus said looking a little annoyed that that was not a possibility any more.

"JAMES, AL, ROSE, JOHN, COME DOWNSTAIRS DINNER IS READY! BRING LILY WITH YOU!" Auntie Fleur shouted from the stairs and all the children rushed down to eat.

* * *

Later in the living room John went to his father and asked, "Daddy where is your sting?"

"What?" Bill asked bewildered as Victorie giggled at her brother's silly question.

"Your sting with which you pollinated a flower so that the seeds could fly out and I could grow on a tree?" he elaborated and Bill could do nothing but to raise his eyebrows all the way up so that they seemed to disappear under his fringe.

"Fleur I think we need to have a talk with little John over here, when we get back home," he said to his wife while his eldest daughter almost fell off her chair laughing and his middle daughter looked confused as if missing the joke.

**

* * *

**

A/N: Please do let me know how you liked it or didn't like it, either way please do review. I would like to make another clarification that the explanation that Rose gave was a distorted version of what Hermione had told her. She had indeed been told the truth with some illustrations and examples from the animal planet, about the matter but I am quite sure that any sort of lecture from Hermione would be too complex and boring for a five year old so therefore she must have gotten only a few facts through her head and everything else became muddled up. Anyhow I hope you enjoyed it.

**Thanks for reading!**


End file.
